Funny one liners and sayings

jeffcc replied on 10/11/2016 12:24

Posted on 10/11/2016 12:24

Just thought i would try and interject some humour.:-

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Please feel free to add

brue replied on 24/03/2021 16:46

Posted on 24/03/2021 16:46

Filched from Comic Relief...

What is a magic dog?

A Labracadabrador

...........................................................................................................

Two crisps were strolling along a road.

A passerby offered them a lift.

They said "No thanks, we're Walkers."

tongue-out

Amesford replied on 24/03/2021 17:12

Posted on 24/03/2021 17:12

I was asked what animal would I like to be on a cold day 

              I replied a little otter 

ABM replied on 28/03/2021 17:43

Posted on 28/03/2021 17:43

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.

 

My heart says chocolate and wine, But my jeans say, please, please eat a salad!!

 

Never laugh at your spouse's choices ~~ You are one of them !

 

One minute you are young and fun. The next you're turning down the car stereo to see better.

 

I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds

 

Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now on I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.

ABM replied on 28/03/2021 17:48

Posted on 28/03/2021 17:48

Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it's a beautiful day

 

My body is a temple,  ancient and crumbling.

 

Common sense is not a gift. It is a punishment because you have to deal with everybody who doesn't have it.

 

I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what's going on.

 

 

ABM replied on 01/05/2021 16:14

Posted on 01/05/2021 16:14

The pub is just 6 minutes walk from my home.

My home is 55 minutes from the pub, 

The difference is Staggering undecided