Funny one liners and sayings

Sigh      { With apologies to Wotsername }

If your nose runs and your feet smell you're built upside down

I used to be indecisive now I'm not sure

Without further ado about nothing.

Don't cry over split hairs.

Find a needle while making hay.

Garbage in garbage out of the box thinking.

Keep smiling👍🏻😊-

Last one👍🏻

I like 'em, Rocky Lad, tickle my funnybone nicely  

You are most welcome muscles👍🏻💪🏻

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. 

  I said, "No we all seem to enjoy it"

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

  Turns out it was the refrigerator.

I thought growing old would take longer.

My bucket list : keep breathing.

Camping :- where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person

Just for once , I want a username and password prompt to say :-

"close enough"

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

I'm a multitasker,. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.