The Vegan Haggis Threat

I am seeing a friend who has limited mobility. I often take a meal, drive him to a pub or cook.  I am visiting on Tuesday but have to make alterations to his powered wheelchair and and some woodwork to do and so I thought that I would make a haggis pie. I saw a post on another forum and thought that I would expand for a forum that OH runs and I do admin ..........

The Vegan Haggis Threat

The Vegan Haggis, introduced into Scotland from New England in the USA during the 1990s, is causing great concern especially in the Haggis Heartlands of Torridon and Cairngorm. The Americans originally bred the strain from genetic breeding using smuggled Haggis from Scotland. Using the genetic breeding the strain was bred to make up for he fact that their government's policy banned the import of the true Haggis beloved by their Scottish descended citizens.

The Vegan is a vigorous strain that carries a virus that is deadly to the traditional haggis.

This virus is distributed by contact with the heather it interferes with the haggis’s digestive system causing the haggis to swell up restricting its ability to forage causing it to die a terrible death of starvation-it’s a pitiful sight.

The only remedy is trapping and culling to eradicate the deadly vegan haggis from the haggis’s traditional home.
Believe it or not the hope for the haggis’s long term future may lie in colonies of thriving haggis in the Lake District.
I am told haggis have been spotted on Brownsea island near Poole where they and the red squirrels are thriving.

There's good news with regard to the Sub Artic strain that had, until 30 years ago, been thought extinct from their last known foothold in the Cairngorms. These haggis have adapted to the conditions they reside in so the sub Arctic Haggis surviving on the high plateau in the Cairngorms, rather on lower moors as most Haggis. They have developed thicker skins and are capable of short term hibernation. They are now so prolific they are coming off the tops down to the car parks after dark to lick the salt in winter - according to the experts.

Such is the extent of their return local rumour has it that the ancient practice of DoontheBuroo might return with restricted collection quotas.
This is where certain local families indulged in a custom thousands of years old of collecting the young haggis from their nests on the rock cliff faces. It remains to be seen whether the protection order on this species will be lifted to permit the old custom whilst protecting the existing breeding pairs by still not permitting shooting - only hand collection by those would be able to show their right to practice the craft by proving direct lineage to those permitted to DoontheBuroo families 150 years ago (much as netting Salmon rights are passed down family lines).

They used ropes made from the fleece of the local black faced sheep. The custom died out 150 years ago so everyone in Aviemore is hoping a film will be made of the DoontheBuroo collectors featuring a big star.
Robert Carlyl, Ewan McGregor and Danny Boyle have been seen in the area rumours are flying.

Paul's Reply

When I worked in the pharmaceutical industry the company invested millions to develop an effective vaccine against the haggis virus - the fact that the director of research at the time was Scottish may have had a bearing on this. It also became apparent that the disease could be transmitted to man - but fortunately Iron Brew and malt whiskey were found to be effective in controlling out breaks. Veterinary surgeons tried this remedy in Haggis but this had unexpected and fatal side effects in the creatures. It induced them to fly in an erratic manner - often backwards leading them to crash into mountain peaks or over cliffs into the sea. Others kept falling over and being unable to move were vulnerable to predators like foxes and wild cats.
Interestingly this latter side effect along with headaches and vomiting has been reported in man when they have accidentally overdosed with this remedy.

My response.

That explains the scarcity of the flying Haggis.
I think that the company was going along the right lines but It was subsequently realised that Irish whiskey was not compatable with the Haggis. The more successful (almost homeopathic style) of treatment used on the ground dwelling species of Haggis is to only dose only with the Whisky brewed in the area and then only a wee dram of unblended Malt Whisky diluted to 50% with Highland spring water from that area. It was found that when a full bottle was used with 'nae water' as a standard dosage that the results seemed favourable in the short term but the long term results were poor.