Part 2: Speed, Freaks.

This story happened on: 28/08/2017

So the van is fully functional, fully loaded and we’re ready for our first trip away. Batlass in the navigator's chair, Stinky Spaniel on her bed in the rear.
Covert Cat is not coming on this adventure and has been left to guard Mystic Manor, which should be fine as long as our friend Foxy Sue remembers to feed the feline. Covert Cat likes to be in the van with no name, she’s explored all the cupboards but found the perfect place to sleep in the overcab bed space. Unfortunately Covert Cat fails to remain “covert” in a big steel box which is moving, she mews loudly as soon as we move and only stops when the engine does. We hope to get her used to the vehicle over time.

We’re booked on a small private site about 90 miles away, Google estimates a 2 hour journey time. We live in a rural setting, there’s no motorway anywhere in our county so are well used to driving along country, “B” and single track roads. Or so I thought.

Once on the open road it becomes apparent that I’m terrified of damaging the van with no name. Fearful of slipping the nearside wheels into the verge, worried about clipping the offside against oncoming traffic and scared in case it topples on a bend. Our speed varies from 20 - 45 mph, there’s no way I’m overtaking anything except cyclists. The clutch is heavy and has a high bite point, brakes feel inadequate, the suspension springy. Is this normal for motorhomes? Is it just because ours is slightly older than Miley Cyrus, was registered the same year Reservoir Dogs was released and petrol was about 47p per litre?
Even if it isn’t normal this is what I have to work with, so I do, with very little whimpering, from any of us.



chasncath commented on 10/09/2017 16:54

Commented on 10/09/2017 16:54

We liked your lighthearted story, despite your starting with 'So' and then continuing in the Present Historic tense - both of which are our current 'dislikes'!frown Otherwise, keep up the good work. We look forward to hearing more of your experiences with the Bat team and Vintage' vansmile

Batlass commented on 10/09/2017 21:21

Commented on 10/09/2017 21:21

Thank you, I do try to be grammatically correct and abhor text speak. Though a few modern practices will permeate our tales we hope they don't detract too much from the entertainment.