The New Adventures of Batlad & Batlass

This story happened on: 25/08/2017

 The New Adventures of Batlad & Batlass
        Stinky Spaniel & Covert Cat

A Blog


Welcome, I’m “Batlad”, I live with my partner “Batlass” in a tiny hamlet with 1 historically important church and only 8 homes, we have nicknamed ours “Mystic Manor”. We share our property with an elderly dog “Stinky Spaniel” and “Covert Cat” who is bilingual, previously owned by a Gaelic speaker she happily ignores us in two languages.

This is our blog, we hope to provide amusement, entertainment and practical advice, in bite sized pieces of around 300-500 words, as we share tales of our new adventures with our motorhome.

Part 1: The Van With No Name.

It’s here, our (not new) new motorhome. It cost us more than we have but worth every penny. We’re beginners in the world of motorhome ownership but had previous camping experience until age, aching bones and weak bladders became too much for sleeping under canvas.

On taking possession we immediately put aside the important stuff like checking everything that should be there was there and set about the apparently essential task of choosing a suitable name. This proved difficult as the registration number doesn’t lend itself to any words in the English language so we tried things which relate to the make and model etc. Nothing seemed fitting so after a couple of glasses of wine we gave up and began to look over the fixtures & fittings and the operation manual.

For it’s age (25 years old in fabulous condition) it seems pretty well spec’d; 4 berth; 2 captains chairs; oven, grill, 2 burners; brand new 3 way fridge; hot and cold running water; shower cubicle with fold out sink and a cassette toilet; fan assisted gas heater; double glazed windows with curtains, blinds and fly screens; loads of storage lockers and (I kid you not) a cocktail cabinet with space for 3 bottles of plonk and 4 wine glasses! Now for us that’s a major selling point which we only realised when reading the instructions.

We filled up the fresh water, turned on the gas, connected the mains power and everything works. We boiled the kettle and made a cuppa, closed the blinds and curtains then converted the seats into our bed, Batlass wasn’t in the mood for any vigorous testing of this so we returned the habitation module to “day mode” and locked up.

The van with no name will hopefully earn one on our first trip away.