We would love to do that but .......

“I would love to do that but…..”

This seems a strange title for a story about what was a trip of a life time but whenever we tell this story this is the response that we get from our listeners. They always have an excuse as to why they could not do it. Most excuses are specious, and if they did do it, they would have so much excitement, pleasure and memories to treasure.

It all started as a bribe! I was the longest serving employee in my organisation and the only one whose contract had the option of retirement at 65. All other employees had to retire at 60 on the company pension scheme. I really loved my job and would have stayed on but my wife, Carole, said “What about retiring and travelling around the world for a year?”  Now Carole is not usually the adventurous type so the opportunity was too good to miss. So part of my pension was commuted to a lump sum , the travel agent offered a round-the-world, seven stop, ticket valid for twelve months at a very good price and off we went.

The year 2003 consisted of a South African safari and bed & breakfast from the Kruger park, through Swaziland to Cape Town, a tour of Cambodia, including the Temples of Ankor Wat, a night visit to Singapore Zoo to see the animals that are usually asleep, and extended motor home tours of both Australia and the USA, with a bed and breakfast tour of New Zealand North Island and a stay in Fiji in between.  We had great adventures in all the countries we visited, but I would like to report on our motorhome adventures in Australia, and the USA. As we had so many adventures, I will have to break it down into instalments.

South Africa, Cambodia and Singapore were fascinating and very eventful, but as they did not involve camping they are not part of this story.

Our visit to Australia did not start well! We arrived in Perth unaware of the Australians’ understandable phobia of hazardous imports. After the rabbit, the fox, the cane toad and feral goats I now know why.  However, in both South Africa and Cambodia we had collected souvenirs, carved animals from SA and wooden masks from Cambodia. Wood imports to Australia are banned for fear of the dreaded Bore-beetle.  The customs lady would have sent them for destruction had we not assured her that they were not imports but were just passing through. We did not tell her that they were going to take three months to pass through!  She relented, until she saw a small hole in the back of a mask. “Bore-beetle!” she exclaimed.  “Wire hole where the mask was hung up,” I responded.  She relaxed, issued us with a caution and cleared us through.  At the end of our tour of Australia, the wooden items, together with our Australia souvenirs were packed up and sent home by sea, to await our eventual return.  When unpacked many months later, the mask was dust – Bore-beetle had eaten it!

We had only booked two nights in a Perth Hotel as we planned to buy a motorhome with the money we had already transferred to an Australian bank account. However, in 2003 moto homes were not popular, Australians preferring small campervans or pop-up caravans. We visited a Winnibago dealer who advised us against buying one due to what he saw as resale problems at the end of our visit, the Australian Autumn. How many UK salesmen would have had that sort of integrity?

The alternative was hire and this was limited to nation-wide companies as we would be starting in Western Australia and finishing in the East. The first company we approached quoted the weekly hire price. “We want to hire for 15 weeks,” we said. “That’s 15 times the weekly hire, they responded. “ But there’s no booking in and out, no cleaning, no washing the bedding, for 15 weeks,” we pleaded. “Weekly hire times 15” they insisted. We left depressed.

The other company was New Zealand owned and called Kea after their parrot. When told we wanted the vehicle for 15 weeks they telephoned Head Office and came back with a deal. We were on our way!

We had opted for a 21foot 4 berth as this had more storage space. It was almost new with only 10,000 miles on the clock, which is nothing in Australia. The lady at Kea spent over an hour briefing us on the mysteries of motorhomes, for at that time we had never been inside one before. We took it to our hotel and transferred all our belongings, food and a TV set which we had purchased. Later that night learned from the TV that Australia had beaten England in the Cricket World Cup by just two runs. No wonder everyone looked so smug!

Our first stop was the Central Caravan Park in the suburb of Radcliffe, from there we visited the Caversham Wildlife Park to pet Koalas, Wombats (my favourites) and pet and feed Kangaroos. This was followed by a tour of Perth including a return trip on the Swan River to Freemantle and a tour of that city.

We then headed North up the West Coast stopping at sites of very different types from Karrinyup which was very “English” with hedged grass sites around a large pond with ducks and swans (although the swans were black not white) to the small village of Northampton where the site was what a first glance appeared to be a small riverside public car park behind a public toilet block. There was no fencing, no office and no staff. Also, it was Sunday and the village was closed! Then we noticed posts with electric hook-ups and that the toilet block also had showers and coin-op washing machines.

A notice said to hook-up and someone would be around to collect the fee. We were the only resident, but at 5pm a small pickup arrived and the village general factotum collected our very small dues. He also sold us some mangos!

Not far North of Perth we met a road train coming very fast the other way. These can be unbelievable. Even the huge trailers have huge  trailers! Unfortunately, the road had been recently resurfaced and a loose chipping was thrown up by one of the extremely numerous wheel s, chipping our windscreen. This is not uncommon as Kea had provided us with a pack of little clear sticky discs of plastic ready for this eventuality. It seemed to work for the next 11,ooo miles.

Working our way up the coast, visiting places of interest on the way, we arrived at Kalbarri with its sparkling blue seas, white sands and beautiful little coves. It was very hot and when the wind is off the land the flies are horrendous. We booked a guided trip to the Gorges which were spectacularly scenic and colourful, very hot and full of flies. They were eight of us tourists in a small coach and on our return to it our guide provided most welcome ice-cold flannels. On the return journey there was a bang, followed by a hissing noise. No, it was not a puncture but the fracture of a pipe on the coach air-conditioning unit.  The rest of the journey was made with all the windows open, which was cooler than when the air-con was working!  The evening was spent on a sunset cruise – cool, refreshing and sans flies.

Fortunately, the wind changed to off the ocean, driving the flies inland and China Bay and Monkey Mia were much more comfortable. The Monkey Mia site was right on the beach and offered a very good on-site restaurant.  However, no monkeys, not in the whole of Australia!

It is on this beach where you could wade in up to your knees and dolphins swam around you. Look but do not touch. Dolphins were not the only wildlife for trip boats took you out into Shark Bay where in addition to Dolphins you could spot Sea Snakes, Green and Loggerhead Turtles and the rare Dugongs, the walrus-like animal related to the elephant.

The site at Coral Bay was a bit run-down and there was not drinking water on tap. The whole area had a water problem. However we were loaned a funnel and given a large plastic container of drinking water to top up the tank. It was here that we realised that the fridge had accidentally been switched off and in the prevailing temperature all the contents had to be ditched. A strip of sellotape was subsequently taped over the switch.

When people talk about diving in Australia, the Great Barrier Reef always comes to mind and the absolute gem of Coral Bay on the West Coast is often overlooked. The fish and coral are amazing, either from a glass bottomed boat or scuba diving. At the right time of year you can dive with Whale Sharks. The whole coast is spectacular, with seals and pelicans on the beaches, fountains of sea spray from rocky blowholes and the unique birds and plants.

Our plan had been to drive up the West coast, across the top and down the East coast of Australia, but as we approached the North West the typhoon warnings started and there was nothing for it but to turn back South.  It was a blessing in disguise for we were able to visit the South West and travel across the bottom of Australia, something that we had not expected to do, and fascinating it turned out to be………….

Next episode:  Margaret River wineries, smothered in parakettes, and three days across the Nullaborr, Dingos and ‘Roos.