One Easter about 30 years ago I went off for 6 nights with my wife, a 2 year old and 11 year old daughter. I had just gotten out of my sick bed after a bad bout of flue and wasn't really fit. We were heading for a CL attached to a restaurant in the middle of a wood in the Midlands. We got a little lost and my wife was navigating. She said 'here it is turn right here'. I stopped and said 'the road should be on the left'. 'No she said look at the name of the road. This is it The sign said dead end but we knew that the site was on a dead end road in a wood..' So I turned into a lane which after a short distance became a single track. Point of no return and so we pressed on. Half a mile later after several tight bends we arrived at what had been a ford across a stream except it was barriered off. No reversing lights on the van, dark, high banks and narrow road. What to do. We had passed the gated entrance to a house some 100 foot back. So I unhitched the van and gave my wife two timber blocks. The van was a very heavy old Eccles Topaz and I walked the van uphill back to the gate. Block RHS wheel and pull drawbar to left. Wife block that wheel and then I pull drawbar to the right. With the sweat dripping off my aching body I walked the van back up a 1 in 12 slope to the gateway.
The chap from the house came out and helped me get the van into his gateway and up onto his drive so that I could hitch up and reverse the outfit into his drive. He could see I was drenched in sweat and insisted we all came in for a drink and he would get his car out and take us to the right end of this lane on the other side of the stream. He later showed us to the turning we wanted and I thanked him and off he went.
We drove down the lane again from the other side. Not very wide but enough for two vehicles. By now it was gone 8pm. We drove maybe half a mile through woods and then saw the lights of a cafe/restaurant. Unfortunately I couldn't get much further. There were a dozen cars parked up on the left hand side of the road. and about 8 on the right hand side with too little space between the two rows and no chance of turning into the restaurant. I parked behind the last car on the right and saw that in the wood alongside there was sufficient room for a caravan under a large tree. Not enough room to swing the car to get the van in because of cars on the otherside of the road. I parked up and walked to the restaurant. It was a wedding reception. I grabbed a few young men and they pushed and pulled the van under the tree with me. The lads went off and just as I finished winding down the legs of the van the bride and groom walked up. Did we want to join them. I explained that we had a 2 year old fast sleep and a tired 11 year old. Off they went and came back with 4 tins of beer, a tray of food from the buffet and and two large bottles of water.
After we had eaten and the kids and the misses were in bed I went outside about midnight when everyone was leaving to protect my car. It seemed to me as if most of the blokes had driven there and there wives were driving back. I went and sat on the car bonnet as the ladies tried to get out of tight spaces with the inebriated fellas directing. It went something like this. 'c'mon. back, back, smash, stop, forward, forward, crash stop'.
Next morning the lane where they had been parked was littered with broken reflector and indicator plastic.
We had a nice break afterwards though.
