Funny one liners and sayings

Dear Doctor, those pills you gave me to make me stronger are no good, I can’t get the top off the bottle

Asteroids - an affliction of constipated donkeys

Gardening News

This week. A plane carrying 15 tons of rhubarb had to do a forced landing.

Yesterday. My OH was finally discharged from hospital, he mistook a daffodil bulb for an onion. However the hospital were right when they told me he'd be out in the Spring....☀

Masks are the new BRA !!

They are uncomfortable

You only wear them in public

And when you don't wear one ~~ Everybody notices !

If you are spending £2 on a bottle of Smart water  ~~  It ain't working  !!

I told my luggage that there will be no vacation this year -

- now I'm dealing with emotional baggage

My local cemetery has just confirmed that the man who invented the Crossword is buried there and from the entrance gate you can just see his headstone, it's four down and three across. 

I've just finished reading an excellent book.

Its called 'Fights on a Narrowboat' by RG Bargy

I was going to use my initiative but nobody told me to.