Funny one liners and sayings

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

A  politician's role expands to take up the time available

(Gosh that's not so funny!)

A variation of Parkinson's Law

I'm reading a book on antigravity. I can't put it down .

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

I once tried that and missed the ground 

How  many  boxes  of  these  "Thin Mints"  do  i  have  to  eat  before  I  start  to  see  some  results    ??

I still remember with fondness Eric Morecambe in a sketch with Andre Previous,  if my memory serves me correctly - "I'm playing all the right notes,  but not necessarily in the right order" - classic!  The number of times I've quoted that...... 😂 

David 

Sorry in advance if a bit rude..

"Its a good A**e the speaks out loud but a bad A**e that speaks out of turn.

I'm the boss in our house and I've Mrs SF's permission to say so!

Topiary? You can cut that out!